Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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