The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
