i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
