I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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