Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
