I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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