Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
