Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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