She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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