Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
