in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
