I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
