PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
