She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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