dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize