So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
