This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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