He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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