You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
