loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize
