it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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