Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
