so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
sarcasm needs its own font
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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