it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
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