making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize