How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
