So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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