I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
