Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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