It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
