I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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