left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you didnt know i had herpes?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I AM VODKA MAN
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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