Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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