By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
