you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
