Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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