I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Also, beer. Big fan.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
