Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
