I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
ugly people sure do ruin things
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
