Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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