I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
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You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
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I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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