I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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