apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
my sisters under your porch take her home
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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