I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize