can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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