he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
