I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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