I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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