I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
i need some magic done to my vagina
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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