You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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