he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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