if i can run in heels then i can drive
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
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You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
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You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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