He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
did i walk over a car last night?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
