Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Randomize
